My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let's get the cat blown out
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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