Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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