someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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