I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I touched a dick in church today
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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