Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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