if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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