is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
