I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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