i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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