Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
