playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
