I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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