are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
