just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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