Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
