he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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