Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
