I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
