With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
