He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
