In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
