i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
