he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
