I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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