Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
