Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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