i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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