awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
