Don't you send me to vm
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
