I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
