Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
