Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
