"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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