I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
