Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
