I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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