What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
