if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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