I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
