It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
