he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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