There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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