Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You smell like stripper and shame
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
