Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
