So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
whose parrot is this?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
