the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
