Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
