the day after is always just damage control
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
