actually, I'm a sock model
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
