Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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