are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
