margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
